Part 2

It has taken 5 weeks and a myriad of emotions for me to write the next chapter of this story.  I felt like I was going through the stages of grief as I dealt with the news that I was in labor at 25 weeks pregnant.  My initial thoughts were, whatever was happening couldn't really be that bad. However, they quickly transformed into the familiar fear and anxiety I had felt early on in my pregnancy when I was first alerted to the risks of carrying twins.   I also felt guilt and anger, for the weeks of running around work, exhausted from the physical and emotional demands of my job.  I should have taken it easier.  I should have known that those tightenings in my stomach weren't normal.  I also felt anger towards my doctors for not prepping me for the warning signs of preterm labor and similar complications common in pregnancies with  multiples.

My recollection of that first week in the hospital is hazy, mostly due to the Magnesium drip I was on to stop my labor from progressing (I would not wish Magnesium on my worst enemy!).  The severity of the situation really hit me when the Neonatologist came down from the NICU and prepared us for what it would be like to give birth to twins at 25 weeks gestation.  I knew they were barely viable at that point.  Having worked in the NICU during grad school, I had seen what kinds of complications could befall infants born that prematurely.  I learned for every extra day a fetus stays growing in the womb, it is three less days spent in the NICU.  For every week, 3 less weeks in the NICU, and for every month, 3 less months in the NICU...not to mention a significant drop in long term complications due to prematurity.

At that point, about a week into my stay at the hospital, something I can only describe as "maternal determination" kicked in and  knew that I would do anything to keep those boys safe and growing in my belly for as long as possible (even if it meant going back on Magnesium!).

Fast forward to early July.  After spending 5 weeks in the hospital, I was deemed stable enough to be sent home on strict bed rest.  It is now almost 3 weeks later and we are all still hanging in there!  While it is much more comfortable to be on bed rest at home, it is still a physical and emotional challenge every day.  I have my dogs to keep me company and my family has been a great support, never leaving me home alone without a caretaker.

I'm learning a lot about myself, about my will and determination, and about what really matters in life.  I am reading a moderate amount (Anyone who knows me would think I would be relishing in this bed rest thing just for the opportunity to lay in bed all day and read!  Funny how when we actually get what we want it isn't quite what we thought it would be...). I have watched countless seasons of TV shows, movies, and documentaries (Thanks Netflix!). I have attempted any and all craft projects that can be completed with one hand while laying on my side and I think I am finally "crafted out".  I have "remote-set-up" the nursery with the amazing help of my Mom, best friend, and the use of Face Time (thanks Apple!).  Basically, I'm done, or ready to be done. The one small problem is that I may have weeks left to go...

While I'm trying to stay as positive and upbeat as possible (especially when well meaning people ask if I'm enjoying relaxing all day doing nothing), I continue to experience waves of other emotions, such as anger, frustration, and guilt.  I am frustrated at missing events such as weddings, birthdays (including my own, which was celebrated in the Hospital), births of friends' babies, anniversaries, and yes, even the opening of the final Harry Potter movie (although E did make me some amazing Butterbeer in honor of the event).  More than anything, I would love a haircut! And the ability to take a bath! And to be able to sit up while eating (I wonder, would that help with the constant reflux/heartburn?)  And to go outside!  And to cuddle with my husband!  E has been amazing through all of this, staying with me every night in the hospital, even though he got no sleep. I will never forget the time I got out of my hospital bed to take my 3 minute shower (literally the highlight of my day) only to find him half asleep on my bed when I returned, raving about how "this bed is so comfortable"!  Poor thing, if he thought MY bed was comfortable, then I can only imagine the awful rock he slept on for those 5 weeks.

Anyway, I digress, back to "emotions". Basically, what I am trying to say, is that these past 2 months have been an emotional roller coaster that is impossible to succinctly put into words for others who have not experienced it personally. That said, I have given my boys 8 extra weeks to grow big and strong in the safety of my womb, and that is a gift that will keep on giving for the rest of their lives!

Life Changes Quickly - Part 1

Over the last 5 weeks, many exciting events have occurred which I have meant to blog about. E completing a 100 mile ultra marathon and finishing my first year of working in the school system are just a few that the procrastinator in me has put off chronicling.  I hope to get to these soon, but first there is something else I am finally ready to blog about:

It is truly amazing how things can change in the blink of an eye.  What began as my first day of summer break ended with admittance to the hospital indefinitely.  The day started with a 2 hour wait at the Perinatologist's office. I was infuriated at the wait. I had things to do! My plans for the summer were to scour every consignment and craft store, coming up with unique and handcrafted pieces for the boys' nursery, and I wanted to get started ASAP! What were those doctors thinking, making a pregnant woman, with double the raging hormones, wait so long for an appointment?  However, I had my levelheaded husband, E, with me, so we waited, and I'm so glad we did...

I could tell something was wrong as soon as we started the ultrasound.  The friendly ultrasound technician was not her usual chatty self.  Instead of describing what she was seeing like she usually did, she took a deep breath and announced she had to speak with the doctor.  She told us that my cervix had shortened significantly in a very brief time period.  The doctor sent us to the hospital and half an hour later, at barely 25 weeks pregnant, I was admitted for preterm labor.

I need a few days to compose part 2...

San-Cap

E and I decided to spend our wedding anniversary in a place we both love- Sanibel Island.  We honeymooned there and have spent several long weekends biking, shelling, and eating our way across the small beach town.  

We ate at The Bubble Room our first night and took our traditional pic on the "love boat"

One of our favorite things about BR is the desserts (of course)!  Every cake we have ever tried is delicious.  They bake them from scratch every day.  Our personal favorites are Orange Dream and Red Velvet.

Saturday was spent reading on the beach (my favorite activity) and shelling (E's favorite activity).

Sanibel is known for its shelling. Low tide was at 8:00 am.  By 7:00 there were tons of people on the beach, equipped with nets and buckets, scouring the huge piles of shells along the shore.

I decided to take a break from Bossypants to do some shelling...it lasted about 5 minutes - I realized bending over to pick them up is not so easy anymore!

Another one of our favorite food spots.  Every meal there is delicious!

Nothing beats watching a Sanibel sunset and looking for the green flash!

On the drive back, we were ambushed by swarms of love bugs.  You could literally see black clouds of bugs  flying at the car.  

Ode to My Best Friend

Dear E,

Do you remember the poem you wrote me years ago? It was during our pen pal days and it was the sweetest thing ever.  Well, last night, when you rolled over at 1:30 AM and asked what I was doing, I was finally returning the gesture. (I've decided pregnancy induced insomnia may as well be productive, rather than simply a pain in the ass) I had such a great time celebrating our anniversary this weekend that it put me in a rare lovey dovey mood. So, while it's not up to par with my DSOA writing days, I hope you enjoy the sentiment behind it. (Plus, this is a good way to check if you actually read the blog)
XOXO,
~Gossip Girl ....J/K its really me, your CP


You chased me around the playground when we were 10 years old,
I had such a crush on the new kid, but this I never told.

In high school we were sweeties, you gave me a rose, then your heart,
I didn't realize 'til later that of love this was the start.

The next 5 years were difficult, long distance was all we knew,
Through letters, videos, and web chats our love grew and grew.

On 5.6.07 we did it, we officially became E-squared,
Surrounded by friends and family, our bond we firmly declared.

Our next chapter is even more exciting, with twin "little Es" on the way,
I hope they are just like their Daddy in every wonderful way.

MWAH!

My Growing Belly

When I first found out I was pregnant, I knew my body would be changing to accomodate my new "roomates", however actually experiencing the transformation has been nothing I could have ever imagined.  The biggest change has, obviously, been to my stomach.  What started out looking like a pretty respectable beer gut has transformed into a rock hard babies bump:)  I'm at the stage where people can tell I'm pregnant.  I no longer get those double takes and whispers at work, "she has a cute figure, but what is up with that gut?!" (yes one coworker actually said this!).  I still get the look of suprise and shocked response of, "OMG, you have twins in there?!" I dont know if I should take this as a compliment or an insult.  On the one hand, my body hasn't blown up to epic proportions (yet), but on the other, are they insinuating that I am doing something unhealthy to stunt the appropriate stomach size for twins?  I assure you, my doctors think my weight gain thus far is on par for a twin pregnancy.

Here is my tummy transformation so far:

Week 11 Bump

Week 13 Bump

Week 14 Bump

Week 15 Bump

Week 17 Bump

Week 19 Bump

Week 20 Bump (it's hard to see, but I gained 6 lbs in the 4 days between this photo and my week 19 photo!)

(Oh Boy!)^2

My husband, E, and I found out pretty early that we were having twins - at 6 weeks.  Although I don't remember the exact words which were spoken at that fateful ultrasound appointment, they were something along the lines of, "are you serious?!".  E has always been the memory keeper in the family and even he was too shocked to remember the actual words we spoke that day.  So, my plan is to blog about those exciting moments during our pregnancy, so that I have something to look back to when my memory escapes me.

A few weeks ago, we reached a pregnancy milestone that many couples look forward to: finding out the sexes of our babies! We had our 18 week ultrasound, during which the tech measures every bone in the babies' bodies, checks the heart, and checks the major components of the babies' brains.  After an hour of measuring, we got a thumbs up for both babies.  We also found out that we are having two boys!
Below is great picture which truly captures our emotions at the moment we found out they were both boys: E has the broadest smile I have ever seen and I look like a deer in headlights!

Can you tell which one of us was instantly thrilled and which one took a few minutes to come around to the idea?!

We found out Nolan (Baby A, or, the lower baby) was a boy when the tech was trying to measure his hand and couldn't get a clear shot because he wouldn't let go of his wanker!  It took another excruciatingly long 45 minutes of measurements before we found out Camden (Baby B) was a boy too.

Now that I've had a few weeks to absorb all of the news, I must say I'm pretty excited about having two little men, especially if they look anything like E did as a baby:

Baby E

I also feel much better seeing firsthand that there are TONS of adorable baby boy clothes out there!

Our first purchase after finding out they were 2 boys

And, of course, there are MANY cute twin-themed ensembles to look forward to:

These cute outfits came from our good friends who just had the cutest baby girl (our boys will definitely be vying for her attention!)

E^2?

So you may be asking yourself, "What is E^2"?  Well, E^2 began as a cheesy way for my hub, Eric, and I to sign birthday cards and letters (get it Eric & Elyse- I told you it was cheesy!).  Since then, the nickname has shown up on a variety of things, from wedding invitations to the beaches of Sanibel.

After more than a decade of being E^2, we are happy to announce that we will have 2 more additions to our family equation!  No, the twins will not have "E" names, but, come August, they will double our little family. Here's a look at our humble beginnings:

JCDS 1994- back in the day when the opposite sex had cooties

2001 E^2 at DSOA Senior Prom

Never imagined back then that we'd be where we are today!

    

2005 trip to Snowshoe

Our wedding 5.6.07 - E^2 becomes official!